I wish I was okay 5 word story (via throw-it-back)
608 notes

I am in a dark place right now guys…
Please if you see it fit, if you could give me some support or something.
Every time I close my eyes, every time I lay my head down on my pillow;I have the most vivid nightmares, I have ever had in my life.
They are reoccurring. Nightmares I wake up from, in tears, sweating, and shaking.
I see him with her. Over and over. It makes me hate falling sleep…
It shouldn’t be affecting me, this later on. But it’s physically painful now.
And I can’t make it stop. It’s literally eating me alive and I cannot keep my composure any longer..
She has a boyfriend now, and he fucking loves her to death. He admires her, and never wants to hurt her.
I was with my husband for 5 years and he slept with her.
And she is fortunate enough to obtain a faithful boyfriend, the same month of the occurrence.

And it’s not like I have any friends to talk to. I mean shit, I don’t want to show weakness. I hate being that whiny, bitchy, complaisant little wimp.
I’ve been told to be strong too long, to break now.
And even if I was okay with being that little dainty flower, I have no friends anyway. No one literally cares. They all turned on me. Except the very very select few; which is two people…
And I don’t want to lose them, by being this hurting person..

It’s the definition of painful to be even typing this. But I needed to write it down. Get it off my chest. It’s been smouldering for about a year. And I am unable to heal.
So please. Anyone with advice?

0 notes